It is easy and human to look at someone else’s life from the outside at times and perhaps feel like they’ve got it all. The reality is there is no such thing as greener grass. We cannot know what challenges others may be facing behind the scenes. As most people go through their day, they wear a cloak of confidence. It can hide many things.
Celebrity is a perfect example of how we see lives that seem like perhaps we’d like to be living them. Much of the outerwear of celebrity is tied to things that our culture has defined as symbols of the great life. So when we see the lifestyle, it can be a quick jump to thinking someone has it easy. In the studio days, the illusion was even greater as much effort was put into keeping the darker side of a celebrity’s mishaps under wraps.
During times when you catch yourself feeling a little envious of someone else, there are some simple steps to take.
- Recognize you do not have the whole story. You’re coveting a one-dimensional snapshot and you’re unable to see beyond the frame to know what someone may be experiencing behind closed doors.
- More importantly, ask yourself why you are looking over there.
- Stop putting energy into the “if onlys”. If only I had their life. Take responsibility for the life you have created to this point.
- Instead, refocus on the changes you need to be making to move your life from where you are to where you want it to be. You can’t exchange your life for someone else’s but you have absolute power to transform your own.
- Do something different. Continuing to use the tools you have will get you more of what you have. If you could create the transformation you desire with the tools and approaches you already know, you’d be living the life not looking outside yourself wishing you had someone else’s. Invest in putting the tools and resources in place to identify what’s missing. Don’t waste time wishing you had something different.
There is a wealth of options when it comes to growing to the next level in your life. Self-help books can provide a lot of education but in my experience, true long term change occurs in the company of others. There is something about the human connection and about having another hold the space for your new vision of yourself that makes a huge difference.
Stop looking for greener grass and tend to your own garden. Take a teleclass, invest in hiring a coach or put together your own mastermind “change my life” group. Time to shake things up!