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“How did you do it?  How did you learn to let go?”

“How will I know when I’m ready?”

“How do I know I’ll be okay?”

There is no playbook, right way or wrong way. There is no timeline. Grief is just that way. So is recovery.

Do you feel okay in this moment?  If not, what do you need to do to change this? Emotional releasing, experiencing sad moments where you miss what you’ve lost are natural. Ask yourself, what do you need?  Do you need to:

  • reach out for the support of a friend?
  • implement a regular exercise program?
  • engage in self-care such as a massage?
  • create a ritual to help you let go?
  • get professional help?

There were times when I was just sad.  There were times when I was overcome by my grief and practically paralyzed by it.  When I felt like I was losing too much of my life, I took charge. My personal journey involved following my intuition and trusting myself.  I naturally ran myself through the process of doing an inventory of what wasn’t working.

At the point where I recognized I was suffering from very low energy, I knew something had to change.  Not having enough energy was impacting my ability to engage with my life at the level I knew was normal for me.  I did my research and the first step for me was to get to the gym.  My first how was to use exercise to increase my physical energy levels so I could re-engage more with life.

I did a lot of experimenting to find what helped me feel more connected with myself and others.  I looked into my past and asked myself what had given me joy.  Writing and dancing came naturally to me and lit me up as a child.  I began to include those two things in my life.  Self-expression allowed me to begin to let go of the past and move into a present worth living.

I knew I was ready when I could no longer accept my situation.  When my life bristled against me like steel wool, I knew things needed to change.  For a number of years, I simply survived the loss of my late husband.  Eventually this was not good enough.  I knew it was time to ask what it would take to thrive…to ask for more from my life.

As with all of my blog entries, this is not a replacement for medical advice or therapy.  Consult your physician or a medical professional if you are experiencing symptoms of depression.

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