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A reader wrote in, “I keep hearing that it is important to get your needs met but what exactly does this mean?”

“Getting your needs met” has become a bit of a catch phrase.  It is important to get in touch with your feelings and know what you makes you feel fulfilled, inspired and enjoying life.  There are some simple steps that can make this process more tangible and the outcome more likely successful:

1.  get clear in each part of your life where this is missing…and then what it will take to close the gap.  The iPEC Wheel of Life is a great tool for doing a self-guided assessment to reveal this.

2.  create a list of what you feel you need.  Trust your intuition to guide you if you’re not quite clear.

3.  make a list of actions to take to address these needs.

4.  if getting one or more of these needs met involves another person, then take time to consider how to present it.  Making a demand most likely won’t enroll them in supporting you.  Be prepared to explain why the request is important to you.  For example, if you are asking a significant other to spend more time together, then share what it is that would give you.  It is the difference between saying “we’re not spending enough time together” and letting them know what time with them means to you.

The 2 Part of the Equation concept is that when another person is involved with fulfilling your need, you must not only put out the request…you also have to really listen to how they receive it.  If they are happy to honor the request, that’s great.  You’ve just created a positive shift.  If they have reservations, you need to hear what is getting in the way of them being able honor your request.  You’ll more likely get what you need by creating win/win so it’s not all about you. 

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