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911 happened five months after my late husband, Gary, died from cancer. May 7th marks the tenth anniversary of his passing.

In calendar terms, a decade is a long time to have our military hunting down a man. It is a long time for those who lost loved ones on 9/11 and for the family members of military who gave their lives to hopefully end a reign of terror.

Time is a strange thing for me. The number of seconds that have passed since May 7, 2001 will equal a decade at the end of this week. In some ways, however, it seems like no time has passed.

Though I have moved from merely surviving the loss to a life where I’m thriving, there are still so many ways and times I miss Gary. I can’t believe it took ten years to find Osama Bin Laden. I can’t believe Gary has been gone for a decade.

At the Relay for Life event in Beverly Hills on Friday, one of my donations was for ten luminaria bags…one for each year he’s been missing from my life. Taking part in this event gave me a chance to get very present to how the work I do keeps his spirit alive. Gary’s commitment to living life during his battle with cancer inspired my system for working with clients to move past surviving to thriving.

While it sometimes feel like no time has passed because I still miss Gary and think of him often, I know through the work I am doing that my own healing journey through grief has absolutely evolved over a decade to a place where I can now make a difference for others.

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