We all make them. Either be default or through careful consideration. Some are difficult. Some are easy. Every day from the moment we awaken, we are in a continuous state of making decisions:
- what to wear
- what to eat
- what to do
- who to see
- where to go
At some point for most of us, those decisions involve more complicated issues:
- who to marry
- when to buy a home
- whether to have children or not
- how to build a business or career
- where to send children to college
- how to care for an aging parent
Sometimes the choices we have to make are ones we never imagined would be part of our landscape. Most often we don’t anticipate having to choose an oncologist, decide on a treatment approach or set aside personal goals to care for a loved one.
Doing our best to create clarity in all these moments so each of our hours and days is filled with choice generates a life filled with more peace and ease. Sometimes the choices we make are not what others would have done. It is easy to stand back when it is not your life, your body, your husband, your child, your career and call the shots.
It is okay to stand back and evaluate in the case of those we care about. It is not a problem to ask permission to share an observation that may bring more factual information or clarity where there may be confusion. It is not okay to offer unsolicited advice, an opinion wrapped in right/wrong thinking or judgment.
It is so simple and so true that we cannot know anothers experience of their situation or their life fully. Shared experiences can give us a point of reference but ultimately, it is never the same because I am not you and you are not me.
In the end, as adults we have the right and the responsibility to make our choices. Sometimes we may choose a path that doesn’t sit well with our core values and priorities. We can learn and grow from this kind of experience and we can also stop and make a different choice. And sometimes what appears to be a detour ends up being exactly the road we needed to take to reach our highest potential.