What is the value of coaching? It’s a valid question and one that, no doubt, each person will respond to differently depending on their experience. For me, it was life-changing. Reading this quote by Carl Jung,
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate
reminded me of the power of coaching. Coaching is the modality that most helped me to identify the unconscious, self-created obstacles so I could make choices informed by my priorities, my values, and the kind of experiences I wanted.
For anyone who wants to drive their life in a proactive way, instead of being at the whim of emotions or old patterns, coaching provides a space in which you get to know yourself better. Only when we build a rich relationship with ourselves, our thoughts, and our resulting actions, can we truly drive our life in the direction we choose.
There is nothing wrong with emotions. They can help us tap into our compassion and to feel deeply. That is a wonderful thing. However, decisions and actions driven solely by emotions create challenges. Coaching helped me to understand that when something happens, what’s next for us is that we have a thought about it. The thought generates a feeling. Out of the feeling, we react and say, think, or do something. Coaching helped me to learn how to pause between the feeling and my reaction to that feeling. During that pause, I can decide the conscious response that will most likely lead to the best possible outcome.
Living with this kind of mindfulness has created much more ease, far less stress, and far fewer times that I have regrets about something I said or did. I’m not perfect so there are times when emotions get the best of me. Being physically tired or emotionally stressed can put me into the reactive, unconscious mode. In those moments, I often find that whatever I say or do does not bring out the best in me and, therefore, ends with a less than desirable outcome. Living a mindful life is an ongoing learning process that involves being able to observe my thoughts, actions, and outcomes and then adjust accordingly without judging or blaming when things turn out less than ideal.
Through coaching, I now live a life that is, for the most part, consciously designed to reflect my values, my goals, and the things I am most passionate about. We can blame fate for the good or bad moments in life or we can find a path to improve our mindfulness so we can consciously choose what we want. Like anything worthwhile, it requires an investment in ourselves but, in my opinion, every dollar I have spent on coaching has been worth being able to create a life I truly, truly love.
