~ By Holly McKinley
In the face of these waves of life that are constantly rocking us, how do we stay standing? How do we weather the storm without letting it drain and control us?
Our true power lies within letting go of judgment. When we judge a situation as “bad”, we give up so much energy to it–valuable energy we could use to…
- carry ourselves forward
- heal ourselves
- build the experience of life we want
Although it may be counter-intuitive, judging a situation as “good” places us in just as unstable a position as does judging something as “bad”. We still give over our power and energy to the external situation by assigning it the ability to affect our internal landscape.
Letting go of judgment is no easy task. When first faced with this concept, we may think letting go of judgment means letting go of emotion. And we especially reject the idea that judging something as “good” is a habit that needs to be abandoned.
I invite you to contemplate that judgment puts us in a very precarious position on both ends of the spectrum. This may be more obvious when we contemplate the disadvantages of judging a situation as “bad”. When we judge a situation as “bad”, we can be paralyzed by fear and unable to take action. We become stuck,expend a lot of energy and feel crushed by the effects of the “this can’t be happening to me” mind.
But what is operating in our mind when we judge a situation as “good”? Beneath the happy feelings that arise, there may be a subtle belief the “good” situation will never end. In fact, we tend to believe it is the appearance of “good” situations that creates happiness in our lives, and without them we simply cannot be happy. This leaves us with feelings of deep unhappiness when the “good” wave once again retreats into the ocean of our experience.
The truth is our own mind is far more powerful than any external situation, and within this powerful mind we have the ability to create our own experience. By abstaining from judging a situation as “good” or “bad”, we maintain the open space of choice. We remember, in this place of lack of judgment, no external situation has any power over our experience.
Instead, our experience is created by what lies within. Rather than losing energy battling the waves of “bad” experience or desperately clinging to the “good” waves, we invest this precious energy in ourselves—in the calm, untouchable peace that exists beneath the stormy surface of our external lives.
I have a simple 3-step mental journey I take whenever I am faced with a situation that is sparking the seeds of judgment to grow within me. I remind myself:
- This is happening.
- From a place of peace I observe it.
- With a calm mind I choose my next step.
We cannot stop the “bad” waves from coming. Nor do we have the power to make the “good” ones stay permanently. And so we simply say to ourselves “This is happening.”
This helps us stay in a place of open acceptance and choice. From this peaceful place of non-judgment we can take in everything that is happening, without wanting to run and hide or becoming too attached to the event. And then we are able to step forward with clarity and calm. We are able to step forward with 100% of our energy devoted to our own wellbeing, with a happiness that flows freely from deep within the wellsprings of our mind.
About my guest blogger, Holly:
I help people who feel inherently broken to pick up the pieces and feel whole, so that they can heal their relationship with themselves and wake up every morning saying, “I love my life.” My mission is to guide people through a process of radical self-creation that gives them the tools to feel peace, balance and purpose to every moment of every day. Click here to learn more about working with me.
