Do you ever come up against one or two core issues or patterns that just won’t seem to go away? You’ve invested in therapy, workshops, self-help books or guided visualization CD’s (or most likely all of these) to resolve it. If you’ve done work on it, then you’ve seen improvement in some, maybe many, ways. Yet, from time to time it creeps back in or pops back up and you find yourself wondering if it will ever be resolved.
Maybe it is a long-term struggle with weight or a pattern of dating the wrong people. Perhaps it is an “ism” such as workaholism, that is running your life. Certainly, for me, it was coping with the grief of losing my husband. I knew from experiencing the loss of my mother when I was a teenager that healing would take time. I knew that there would come a point where I no longer thought of it every minute and a time when I would think less often of myself as a widow. Along with this kind of healing, where you are able to move your life forward and experience significant periods where the issue is no longer an issue, there is another aspect to consider.
At the moments where the pattern or struggle re-presents itself, you can support yourself by truly understanding and acknowledging The Spiral Effect. The reality is that when you have experienced growth and gained insight into a situation, you can never actually go back to that old place. Certain situations may trigger the longstanding pattern or issue. When that happens, recognize you are coming back around at it with a new level of understanding or new tools. You will not be as likely to get stuck in for as long or experience the same depth of suffering as in the past. You will have the awareness to recognize the feelings that are coming up and the chance to choose how to act/re-act.
Life is not lived in a linear fashion. As you learn and grow you are spiraling upward, ascending, transcending. You are becoming something more than the old pattern. You are living beyond the past. In those moments where an issue or pattern gets triggered, take a deep breath and remember The Spiral Effect. Know you are not slipping backward into “not THIS again”. Life will always throw challenges and every day chaos our way. It isn’t about living a life without them but knowing we can choose to react differently so we do not lose our center in the face of upsets and disappointments. Experiencing The Spiral Effect allows you to acknowledge the work you’ve done and the new tools you have.
There are still days and times when I miss my late husband…a lot. I know what the triggers are and I am able to allow myself to feel those feelings with the understanding that it doesn’t mean I’m not in a better place regarding the loss. I also know I won’t get stuck in the dark corners of grieving as I did in the past.Instead, it allows me to experience those moments as a chance to reconnect with the gifts of the time we had together…thanks to The Spiral Effect.
