I often get emails from readers asking questions people commonly struggle with. This week, Philip wrote in, “I know that getting a divorce was the best choice for my ex-wife and I but I am having a hard time wrapping my head around what is next for me in my life. Any suggestions?”
A major life change or transition is a great opportunity to do a check-in with yourself. Given what you have gone through, ask yourself what are you core values? Often, major changes inspire us to shift our priorities in life. Getting very clear on what means the most to you now will help determine what comes next. It also can assist as you go through the process of transition to your new life.
There is a simple exercise you can do. Grab a pen and piece of paper or plop yourself down at your computer and for the next two to three minutes answer the question, ‘what matters to me most in life is _____.” You can also create a list of ‘the things I want to be spending my time doing are ____.” Write the answers down in the order they come to you. When you are done, take a second and look at the order. Should something be moved further up near the top of the list or down to the bottom? Choose your top five answers. This will give you some insight into what is meaning the most to you right now.
As options, choices and decisions come at you over the course of the next week, refer to your list to evaluate what your response or action should be. Only when you identify what is important can you begin to design what is next in a conscious manner that helps you build a life in line with your values.