Thinking something will be a certain way doesn’t make it so. That’s why I like to plant sign posts to aim for and then allow things to unfold. It took a lot of years training as a coach and coaching others to relax my clutches in my Smart Goal approach to life. I’m an expert at to do lists, project management, and achieving goals. But I learned the hard way that you can’t do yourself out of grief, loss, or transforming your life. For these moments, we have to learn to be with ourselves. We have to sit in sadness, feel the losses, listen to our heart music to truly embrace and dance and move through our lives with grace.
I’ve played hide and seek with my grief, I’ve run from my fears, and lived defensively to ward off any trouble that I can. It’s exhausting. And when I turn around, there it is again. Tango taught me to both let go and embrace… let go of my fears, trust myself, and embrace what’s before me. To be open to the possibilities instead of sitting down out of fear… and often fear is something that will never occur.
So while I had a plan to eventually find a forever home, I expected that would come later. The sign post was planted a long time ago to find a place to call home. And then, as it will, life surprised me.
Now it is time to draw a line in the sand and. Like an alchemist, I shift my life and all I’ve created to a new place and time. I love my new life, it’s rhythms, it’s beauty, and how very different it is from what I thought it would be. Stepping across the line in the sand from the past to the present, letting go, moving on, in gratitude with no desire to turn back.
I wonder what the next sign post I plant will be?