It’s not always easy to ask for help and it’s not always easy to know the best way to give it. When a crisis hits, there tends to be a deluge of caring and shows of support. Often, in that immediate moment, we don’t know what we need and those offering don’t know what to do. Sometimes, people don’t even know what to say.
Sadly, some people pull away in times like this…on both sides. Certainly, because my late husband wanted to keep his diagnosis secret so he could continue to work in Hollywood, we pulled back in our own ways. As his caregiver, I often pushed away those trying to help as I felt I needed to be the one. It gave me some sense of purpose in the madness of cancer to be his main support. In hindsight, I would have put much less stress on myself and the relationship had I let others be part of our caregiving team instead of doing it all myself.
Ultimately, isolation is not the answer. Going through any major life crisis – divorce, loss, financial challenges, health challenges – even the ups and downs of daily living – it’s simply much easier when we help each other and allow ourselves to be helped.
It doesn’t have to be complicated…and, as it is so beautifully addressed in a post on Daily Om by best-selling author, Madisyn Taylor, it can be as simple as really listening and being there with a hug and some love.