Taking the high road can get you a lot of places but sometimes in life you need to know when to duck. I use my coaching tools daily, giving me a life of greater ease. It doesn’t mean that s&$t doesn’t hit the fan sometimes, but it does allow me to stay grounded in those moments. I encourage myself and others to come at challenges from a higher energy level using compassion and perspective to create the distance sometimes necessary so we can choose our responses instead of reacting.
And then there are those times, situations and people where you recognize the best thing to do as quickly as possible is duck. I’m all for positive confrontation if there is a possibility of growth or a different outcome. But when a situation is spiraling downward out of control it is often best to disengage, assess collateral damage and move on.
If this is your default tendency, to duck and run…then consider how you can balance it with a healthy dose of sitting down face to face with the problem and working it through. It’s the best case scenario. Let’s face it…there is a lot of room for misunderstanding and miscommunication so learning to address things in a calm manner is of value. If you are dealing with someone who is reasonable, some steps you can take include:
1. Choose and/or schedule an appropriate time/place to discuss. Announcing in the hallway, by the water cooler or in the lunch room that you need to talk or right when someone is rushing out for a meeting or to pick their child up from school will not get things off on the right foot.
2. Don’t accuse…sometimes best to come at it like perhaps there has been a miscommunication, misunderstanding. Ask first for clarification.
3. Be prepared with a few resolutions just in case there is an issue and be open to discussing the solution options together.
But in those moments when you find yourself in the line of fire, sometimes the best thing to do is duck…and then re-assess once the bullets stop flying.